Confidence: The Battle Between Doubt and Belief

Have you ever dreaded speaking in front of people or posing in front of a camera?

Have you ever felt envious of someone who seems to walk into a situation with assurance and poise?

You’re not alone.  Various experts estimate that 85% of people experience some form of shaken confidence.  Another way to say this is almost 9 out of every 10 people experience a lack of confidence at some point.

Two Sides of the Same Coin

A lack of confidence can present as two patterns.

The most recognized pattern is insecurity.  This person believes that they are inadequate, and they often appear as withdrawn, hesitant, or apologetic.  They tend to avoid situations that make them uncomfortable.

The other less recognizable pattern is false bravado.  This person also believes that they are inadequate, but they appear loud, dominant, and overconfident.  They often gravitate towards performance to cover feeling inadequate.

Neuroscience of Confidence

Confidence is not found in a single part of the brain but is rather created in the brain mainly through the reward system pathway.

When a person succeeds at a task, the brain’s reward system, particularly the neurotransmitter dopamine, helps reinforce the connection between the action and the positive outcome. Dopamine also contributes to motivation by creating anticipation of future rewards, encouraging people to repeat behaviors that have worked before.

The hippocampus, which plays an important role in memory, helps store and reactivate successful experiences, allowing the brain to use those memories when facing similar challenges. Over time, this creates a positive feedback loop in which past achievements increase confidence, confidence encourages further action, and new successes strengthen that belief even more.

This process is sometimes described as the “winner effect,” because previous victories can increase the likelihood of future success by influencing motivation, behavior, and the brain’s response to challenges.

Confidence may also help people manage stress by reducing the psychological impact of repeated competition and helping the brain respond more effectively to stressful situations.

In summary, confidence can be understood as a learned process in the brain that becomes stronger through repeated experiences of success.

Confidence Story Spotlight

Does the bully win?

Jon Tyson, a speaker and writer, tells the story of his son, who became increasingly afraid of going to school in the third grade. As his father gently sought to learn the reason why, he discovered that his son was being bullied on the bus every day.

Instead of sweeping in as a “helicopter parent” or a “lawn-mowing parent” and removing the obstacle—or the bully—for his son, Jon brilliantly uses the situation as a teaching moment.

He tells his son that he is going to introduce him to his friend, William Wallace, and watch an edited, age-appropriate version of Braveheart together.

As they watch the Battle of Stirling, where William Wallace and his comrades are charged by cavalrymen carrying long spears, Jon pauses the movie and asks his son to look at the faces of William Wallace and his men. His son immediately notices how afraid they look.

His father points out to him, “Courage is not about being scared. It is about believing that you can do it anyway.”

As they watch William Wallace and his men win the battle, Jon empowers his son by reminding him of his identity. He tells his son that he is a Tyson and explains that the name Tyson means “firebrand”—someone who is meant to burn brightly and overcome adversity, including bullies.

The next morning before his son gets on the bus, Jon reminds his son of their conversation from the night before by whispering to him, “Braveheart.”

His son runs, swings himself up onto the bus, and confronts and overcomes the bully.

Jon explains that this moment of having courage and overcoming the bully completely transformed his son’s life.

“Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the assessment that something else is more important than the fear.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

3 Steps to Build Confidence

1) Form Identity: Just as Jon gave his son a new sense of identity by explaining that the name “Tyson” means “firebrand”—and that, as a result, he was meant to face adversity and overcome it—the first step in building confidence is to establish an identity.

That identity may come from our family heritage, as it did for the Tysons, or it may be shaped by visualizing a character we admire. For example, there have been many situations in my life when I have imagined facing an obstacle as Diana Prince (or Wonder Woman).

Visualizing ourselves facing a situation confidently and with poise is powerful, as our brain is not able to tell the difference between a real memory and an imagined one. Read more about identity here.

2) Face the Fear: Tom Holland (aka Spider-Man) brilliantly explained in a recent interview how he turns his nerves into excitement. He pointed out that the physical sensations of fear and excitement, such as a racing heart and butterflies in your stomach, are essentially identical. The difference lies in how our brains interpret those sensations.

Because we can influence how our brains interpret what we’re experiencing, we can choose to tell ourselves that those physical sensations are excitement rather than fear. By reframing our nerves in this way, we can harness that energy and use it to enhance our performance.

3) Celebrate Micro Wins: Confidence grows through the brain’s reward system. The more often our brain experiences success, the stronger our confidence becomes. This means confidence is a skill, not a personality trait, and, like any skill, it grows with practice.

Setting small, consistent, and achievable goals gives our brain regular opportunities to experience success and receive rewarding dopamine boosts. Over time, these micro wins build momentum, strengthen confidence, and reinforce our belief in what we’re capable of achieving.

How Homeopathy Can Help

Homeopathic medicines are gentle, highly diluted, non-toxic preparations that are generally considered safe and are commonly used without risk of adverse effects. Homeopathy, through using the principle of like cures like, may help individuals who feel a lack of confidence through:

• Anticipatory anxiety
• Performance anxiety
• Sensitivity to criticism
• Fear of failure
• Self-doubt
• Rejection or fear of rejection